Cell phone down the toilet
So we are in the middle of Iowa, Fort Dodge to be exact, and my daughter wants french fries at McDonald. So against my better judgment, we plan on stopping. Now when I say we, I'm including myself, Steve and his parents. We are on our way to Le Mars, Iowa, Steve's home town where we are spending the second half of our winter break.
Since my daughter and I had to pee as well, I quickly grab my cell phone, put it into the front pocket of this long sweater I was wearing (you know the kind...from the Gap about 3 Christmases ago?) and we both ran into the McCrappy crapper. I follow her into the stall as she quickly takes care of business. She starts to leave, ready to get her french fries and I say, "Wait, I have to go too!", she says "Okay, but hurry up!". So I pull my long gap sweater up and start to pee. When I'm done, I swerve around and flush at the exact same time as my cell phone falls out of my evil sweater pocket and plops right into the toilet! Without even hesitating, I stick my hand into the toilet right in my own pee, screaming, "My cellphone, my cellphone!!" My daughter starts crying hysterically at the sight of me with my hand down the toilet desperately trying to reach as far down as I could, hoping to somehow catch my cellphone as it racing it's way through the sewers of Fort Dodge and into mounds of shit. I knew it was gone. That was it. In a split second, it was gone. Dejected, I stood up, walked over to the sink, and proceeded to scrub/wash my hands while all the while, my daughter is still out of control, covered with tears and snot.
We walked out of the restroom, and Steve and his parents took one look at my daughter and wondered what the hell could have happened in a matter of 5 minutes in a restroom?? After I told them the story, trying to be heard over my daughter's sobs and trying to ignore every single individual in the restaurant staring at us, Steve's mother said, "I knew we shouldn't have stopped at this McDonald's. We've never had a good experience here. And the service is terrible."Since my daughter and I had to pee as well, I quickly grab my cell phone, put it into the front pocket of this long sweater I was wearing (you know the kind...from the Gap about 3 Christmases ago?) and we both ran into the McCrappy crapper. I follow her into the stall as she quickly takes care of business. She starts to leave, ready to get her french fries and I say, "Wait, I have to go too!", she says "Okay, but hurry up!". So I pull my long gap sweater up and start to pee. When I'm done, I swerve around and flush at the exact same time as my cell phone falls out of my evil sweater pocket and plops right into the toilet! Without even hesitating, I stick my hand into the toilet right in my own pee, screaming, "My cellphone, my cellphone!!" My daughter starts crying hysterically at the sight of me with my hand down the toilet desperately trying to reach as far down as I could, hoping to somehow catch my cellphone as it racing it's way through the sewers of Fort Dodge and into mounds of shit. I knew it was gone. That was it. In a split second, it was gone. Dejected, I stood up, walked over to the sink, and proceeded to scrub/wash my hands while all the while, my daughter is still out of control, covered with tears and snot.
As we left McCrappy, I was still stunned and in shock. Though I hadn't had that phone for long, I did have that SIM card since 2004. Everyone from friends, ex-boyfriends, vendors, photographers, peers, aquaintances, and business contacts since 2004 were stored on that SIM card. It was truly irreplaceable. And it wasn't just that, it was a weird feeling to not even have the option to call someone and talk in person. As much as I love/prefer email, Facebook and texting, nothing beats a good old fashioned conversation. I know I'll replace my new phone once I'm back in Portland, and then this incident will just become one of those hysterical family stories someone brings up every year: "Remember the Christmas of 2009, when Tamar flushed her cell phone down the toilet at the McDonald's in Fort Dodge, Iowa? HAHAHAHA!!!"
But, to tell you the truth, part of me feels like this was a sign. My Chicago phone broke pretty soon after we arrived in Portland, and my Portland phone got flushed down the toilet at the end of 2009. I think this was the universes' way to help me finally realize and accept that I am not going back to Chicago, or going back to my old lifestyle, or my old job, or my old haunts. It helped me feel okay to accept that I do not need the number to Blum's Animal Hospital on Belmont Ave, and that I will never have to call the Kinko's on Western Ave where Steve worked when we first met, and that I will never ever ever have to call the Western Elston Currency Exchange on the corner of Elston, Western and Diversey in Logans Square to buy my city stickers.
Bring it on 2010. I get it now.
posted by Tamar Berk on December 30, 2009
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